Gender: Male
Hometown: Madison, Wisconsin
Specialties: Making cheesy jokes
Temperament: Easy-going
Health Condition: Fluffy
Special Needs: Luv

Adopted in January 2012
Hi! My name is Justin, but you can call me Justin. Ha!! I’m a lovable dog with a great sense of humor. And I like to cuddle! I love playing with other stuffed dogs and live humans, and I can’t wait to find a new family! My mother was a stray stuffed dog, and I’m not sure who my father was… but that’s pretty normal for stuffed animals. I don’t mind! If you like taking walks and joking around, you’ll love hanging out with me! I can’t catch a frisbee, though, because I can’t jump. But I can do other stuff, like watching reality tv with you and watching you eat dinner!

Gender: Male
Hometown: I can’t remember
Temperament: Meek
Stature: Very small
Special Considerations: Attachment issues

Adopted January 2012
I was abandoned by the side of the road and rescued by a friend of The S.A.R.F. He brought me to headquarters, where they welcomed me and would have given me food and water if I were of a species that needed those things. They’re currently helping me deal with my past. We’re doing a bit of regression therapy so I can regain the traumatic memories I’ve pushed deep into my subconscious. So far, I’ve figured out that I was born around the holidays. I’m hoping to uncover more soon, but I can’t rush these things.

Gender: Male
Hometown: San Antonio, TX
Temperament: Hopeful
Occupation: None
Special Needs: Stability, shell polish, strong nail clippers

Adopted January 2012
I ended up at The S.A.R.F. after my owners’ divorce. They told me it wasn’t my fault, but I can’t help but feel a little responsible, like maybe I came between them. I mean, I did actually sleep in between them every night. And when they split everything up, they couldn’t decide where I would go. They could have just cut me in half- since I don’t have any pain receptors or anything. But instead, they gave me up. It’s okay though. I have made a lot of new friends here, and I’m ready to find a new home.

Gender: Male
Hometown: Everywhere & Nowhere
Temperament: Melancholy
Occupation: Observer
Special Needs: Balance

Adopted January 2012
Life is its own self-contained dichotomy. Up, down, left, right… It is the opposite that creates the whole. I have been abandoned, but I have also be rescued. I move forward because I have moved backward- and I only know one because I have known the other. I strive for harmony between wake and sleep- between being cuddly and being isolated.

Gender: Male
Hometown: Boise, ID
Temperament: Lovable
Physical Condition: Large head
Special Needs: Occasional cuddling, stuffed dog toys

Adopted in January 2012
I was abandoned by my owner at one year of age (8 in stuffed animal dog years). I was born with a very large head. I am very cuddly and I would love to snuggle on my new owner’s lap on a cold day. I love playing with stuffed dog toys. Because I don’t have teeth, I can promise never to destroy my toys, and never to take a bite of your newly-iced birthday cake. Grooming me is a breeze, and I don’t shed either! I enjoy long walks with my owner, but they’re not necessary. I’m pretty happy just hanging around the house, even when you’re at happy hour after work!

Click. Click click click. Sssssss. Click click click click [pinches, curls whiskers]. Ssssssss. Sssssssss. Click click click click click? Click click [pinches emphatically]. Click click click! Click… [smiles, looks off into the distance, longingly].

Gender: Male
Hometown: Central Iowa
Specialties: Lidless eye-batting
Temperament: Star-crossed
Health Condition: 70′s Print
Special Needs: OK Cupid

Adopted in December 2011
Single stuffed male frog seeks loving companion for walks on the beach, snuggles in back seats of cars, general fun times. Flowery print, athletic build. I enjoy romantic dinners, going to movies, and sometimes just watching television with my sweetheart.

Gender: Male
Hometown: In-Transit
Profession: Unknown
Temperament: Punctual
Special Needs: Nearby station

Adopted January 2012
My friends and I were rescued from a local theatre company. We were all understudies in a production earlier this year, and we were left with nowhere to go after the play was over. Theatre was new to me, as I have mostly lived on the rails riding from town to town. I stopped off in Austin and decided to stay for awhile. However, I still quite enjoy a good jaunt every now and then. I’d love to live close to a rail station. I promise I’ll always come home.

Gender: Male
Hometown: New York, NY
Profession: Thespian
Temperament: Dramatic
Special Needs: Transportation to auditions

I have graced the stages of the finest theatres, performing magnificently to the delight of adoring audiences the world over. Shakespeare, Mamet, Miller… I’ve done it all. “Live theatre is king,” you hear them say. “But no!” I reply, “Stuffed theatre! Stuffed theatre is the truest art!”

Gender: Female
Hometown: Norfolk, VA
Specialties: Cultural Anthropology
Temperament: Curious
Health Condition: Ocular-Pelagial Overlap (innocuous)
Special Needs: Frequent flyer miles, internet access

Gender: Female
Hometown: Reno, NV
Specialties: Prevarication, Typing (70 wpm)
Temperament: Accommodating
Health Condition: Nothing a stiff martini won’t fix
Special Needs: This is about your needs.

Adopted January 2012
Well, hello there… I’m Sondra. I can handle all of your secretarial needs. Pick up your shirts from the cleaners? No problem, sir! Keep your wife away from the office? Why, of course I can! I’m an expert in all manner of complicated affairs, and I make an amazing cup of coffee. I look forward to meeting you!

Gender: Male
Hometown: Charleston, SC
Specialties: Chiropractic
Temperament: Knotty
Special Needs: Office space, spinal decompression

Adopted in November 2011
It was my own vertebral dysfunction that led me to my calling, and I am more grateful than you can imagine. I have hugged in ways that would have been otherwise impossible. I am a fine sleeping companion due to my cervical shift, and years of self-adjusting have left me pain-free. I would love to find another owner who enjoys snuggling. If he or she is in need of spinal care, that is also plus.

Gender: Female
Hometown: x
Specialties: x
Temperament: x
Special Needs: x

Adopted in December 2011

Gender: Male
Hometown: Chicago
Specialties: Mathematics
Temperament: Cranky
Special Needs: Interlibrary Loan Access

Adopted in November 2011
No matter who’s owned me, it’s always been the same thing. Everyone’s always asking me questions. Ridiculous questions. Just yesterday my dove friend calls and says, “Hey Enrico, how many seas would I have to sail before I’ll find a good sandbar to sleep on?” And I’m thinking, “Are you kidding me? What kind of a question is that?” You know he’s not asking his donkey friend this question. Just because I’m an owl! They think I know things! And there’s always this one, “How many licks is it gonna take me to get to the middle of my lollipop?” It’s offensive, really. Not to mention the fact that they ALWAYS neglect to give me size of the tongue involved or the acidity of the licker’s saliva, or the moisture content of the room in which it’s being licked, or the density- or even the size- of the lollipop. I say to them, “I can only give you a rough estimate with the data you’ve provided.”
You give me more, I’ll give you more. Come on, people, what do you expect?

Gender: Male
Hometown: Hobart, IN
Specialty: Stuffed Performing Arts
Temperament: Eccentric
Health Condition: Son
Special Needs: Please contact The Intern directly to receive list

When I was a baby elephant, my father made me perform in the Stuffed Animal Circus… Each night, I would be placed on the stage while adoring fans watched me sit there doing what stuffed elephants do best… Stare at stuffed peanuts… Get picked up and moved around… People say I was the best at what I did. But now, I have my own little boy elephant, and I have chosen to hide his identity until he is old enough to make his own choices. I know some people think this is ‘inhumane’, but I assure you: His baby elephant-hood is one of the happiest there’s ever been. We hope to be adopted by a family who respects our wishes for privacy… and who likes to snuggle.

Gender: Male
Hometown: Princeton, NJ
Temperament: Intellectual
Special Needs: Rousseau, Sartre, Nietzsche

Bertha, Arnold and I were rescued from a secret stuffed monkey research center outside of Atlanta. There, we were taught to read, to write, and to speak several different languages (well, actually Arnold never really caught on…). Unfortunately, many tests were also conducted upon us against our wills… Various forms of cotton were injected into our bodies to determine ‘optimal plushness’… We were given different eyes in order to test for ‘adequate cuteness.’ And so on. It was rather demeaning, really, and we’re still adjusting to freedom. The SARF has been providing us with regular therapy sessions, and I believe I am ready to join a loving adopted family.

Gender: Female
Hometown: Princeton, NJ
Temperament: Studious
Special Needs: SASL
Graduate of December 2009 petting zoo. Adopted in early 2010.

We had to write this bio for Bertha, as she has chosen to communicate only through SASL (Stuffed Animal Sign Language). She learned SASL, along with five different spoken languages, at a stuffed monkey research facility outside of Atlanta. She is an avid reader, with a particular penchant for Pynchon, Gaddis and Delillo.

Gender: Male
Hometown: South Pole
Expertise: Energy Efficiency
Temperament: Argumentative
Special Needs: Sun; Access to UT Science Library
Graduate of December 2009 petting zoo. Adopted in early 2010.

Did you know that Rudolph’s red nose is coal-powered? Well, it is. And it’s time everyone realized the massive size of Santa’s carbon footprint. I, on the other hand, have a solar-powered nose. In fact, at night, I hook my nose to a special device that allows me to give excess energy back to the grid. I’m working with The SARF to reduce the organization’s energy usage by 50% by 2012. I would love to find an eco-friendly family to adopt me. I promise to conduct a full efficiency inspection upon arrival- free of charge.

Gender: Male
Hometown: Metairie, LA
Specialties: Acorn Gumbo, Pecan Pie
Temperament: Artistic
Special Needs: Gas stove, squirrel-accessible kitchen

Yes, I’m a squirrel. And yes, I’m a chef. So? I mean, what’s wrong with that? I have access to a virtually infinite array of foods from gardens all over town. And acorn soup? Have you ever tried it? Don’t knock it until you do. I make a mean Garden-Pillaged-Basil Pesto, but Salvaged Carved Pumpkin Pie is my specialty. I hope to make to Top Chef in the next few years. The SARF is helping me out by letting me cook four meals a week. It’s been a great experience learning to cook for such a wide range of non-eating stuffed animals. It makes things tough, but I like a challenge. I hope to one day open my own restaurant: SQUIRR.

Where Is He Now?

Esquirr cooks up a storm!

Graduate of December 2009 petting zoo. Adopted in early 2010.

We received an update from Esquirr’s new family, and it looks like he’s having a wonderful time! He’s been spending a lot of his evenings in the kitchen helping out with dinner and testing out recipes on his owners, Brad and Lora. We hear he makes a mean white chili. We miss you, Esquirr, but we’re thrilled that you’re getting a chance to follow your dreams!

Gender: Male
Hometown: Savannah
Temperament: Stable
Health Condition: Missing eye, missing nostril, broken neck
Special Needs: Eye patch, neck braces (2)

Hello there. My name is Andrew. I am really new to The S.A.R.F., but they’ve already helped me out a lot. I had an accident that resulted in the loss of one of my eyes and one of my nostrils, in addition to my receiving a broken neck. It sounds a lot worse than it was- especially since I don’t breathe. I mean, I don’t ever want to see a live dog again, but other than that I think I’m okay. The folks at The S.A.R.F. are in the process of patching me up, and then I’ll be ready for adoption.

Gender: Male
Hometown: Trenton, NJ
Specialty: Jazz hands
Temperament: Expressive
Health Condition: Sparklies
Special Needs: Stretch bar, custom leg warmers
Graduate of December 2009 petting zoo. Adopted in early 2010.

Hi. My friends call me Sandy, and I am a dancer. Ballet, tap, jazz, lyrical, hip-hop, western swing, modern, merengue, tango, salsa… I do it all and I love it all. Without dance, I would be just another boring three and a half foot long fire engine red chenille komodo dragon with sparkly hands and feet and a sparkly stripe down my back. But I feel special because of my dreams. I am currently putting together my audition for SYTYCD, and I think I have a good shot. I’m not as classically trained as some, but I have heart and my own personal style. I’ve also been told I have a very unique look and graceful, sophisticated lines. I love to perform, but sometimes I’m just as happy perfecting my moves in front of the mirror alone. Self-expression sets me free. I love to take car rides and hold my hand out the window and feel the breeze running through my sparkly fingers. It makes me feel alive.

Where Is He Now?

Sandy and Senor Sparkles

Sandy’s new owner, Samantha, sent us an update, and it looks like he’s adjusting to dorm life quite nicely!

Samantha’s been helping him practice his dance moves, and we can’t wait to see his improvements firsthand (send us a video)!

When Sandy’s not busy dancing, he’s been watching a lot of Grey’s Anatomy and hanging out with his new friend, Senor Sparkles (Austin College marketing major/large pink unicorn). Their relationship status is unclear at this time.

Congratulations on your new life, Sandy!

Gender: Male
Hometown: St. Louis
Temperament: Lovable
Health Condition: Missing eye, abdominal wound
Special Needs: Hugs, pats on the head, kisses, car rides
Graduate of December 2009 petting zoo. Adopted in early 2010.

I am Arnold, and I am big. I was rescued a few months ago. I am cuddly and have a wound. I like you. Snuggling is nice. I eat leaves and stuffed bananas. I lost my eye somehow, but I don’t mind. I walk into branches sometimes. The other people tagged me for research, but I don’t know what that means. This tree is nice. I like my friends.

Gender: Male
Hometown: Milwaukee,Wisconsin
Temperament: Nervous, inquisitive
Health Condition: Good. Dirty eyebrow
Special Needs: Moleskine reporter notebooks, small pencils (think libraries or Ikea)
Graduate of December 2008 and December 2009 petting zoos. Adopted in early 2010.

I grew up in Milwaukee, Wisconsin, but I moved to Austin awhile ago. My old owner went away to college, and her parents sent me to Goodwill. I’m a little shell-shocked from being alone on those wire shelves for so long, and I’ve always been a little nervous anyway… but my therapist is awesome, and I’m totally working through it. I haven’t had a panic attack in over four months! I hope to one day be a journalist, if there are still journalists around when I’m old enough to be one. I like to cuddle (after I know I can trust you). My therapist says I have attachment issues, but awareness is the first step toward recovery.

Gender: Male
Hometown: San Diego, California
Temperament: Totally chill
Health Condition: Says Bro a lot
Special Needs: Red Bull, transportation to Ultimate Frisbee/track
Graduate of December 2008 and December 2009 petting zoos. Adopted in early 2010.

Hey bros, I’m Jeff. When The S.A.R.F. found me, I was just hanging on my bro’s couch and drinking way too much beer. I was the king of the keg stand for sure, and I know pretty much every line of every episode of Family Guy. But The S.A.R.F. patched up my pouch and paid for my gym membership. Last week, I hopped a half-marathon, and I’m totally stoked about this frisbee golf tournament next month. I’m a killer boxer, too, especially on the Wii.

Gender: Male
Hometown: Milwaukee
Temperament: Crotchety
Health Condition: Missing teeth, arthritis
Special Needs: dentures, chess, bridge
Graduate of December 2009 petting zoo. Adopted in early 2010.

I was living on my own by the time I was your age, missy- or mister- or whatever you are. My eyes aren’t what they used to be. My teeth aren’t so good either. I put my dentures down a few months ago, and I haven’t seen them since. I don’t care. I didn’t need them anyway. My gums are tough as nails. My parents used to feed me rocks. For my birthday.

Gender: Male
Hometown: Savannah, GA
Temperament: Guilt-inflicting
Health Conditions: arthritis, bum knee, hip displasia, trick elbow, tinnitus
Graduate of December 2009 petting zoo. Adopted in early 2010.

My rheumatism has been much better since The SARF rescued me from that horrible home. It was so drafty. Made my hip hurt. And my cataracts, too. I feel better than I have in years. Except for the ringing in my ears. And my pesky trick knee. But I’m pretty lucky to have a knee at my age. It’s hard to locate, but it’s there somewhere. And it sure is tricky. But not so much as my trick elbow. Now that’s doosie right there.

Gender: Female
Hometown: Everywhere
Temperament: Shy
Health Condition: Stiff
Special Needs: Occasionally likes to hang from ceiling

We had to write Sally’s bio for her, as she doesn’t have arms and has a severe lisp that makes her hard to understand. Despite these tribulations, Sally continues to be one of the sweetest RSA’s [Rescued Stuffed Animals] we have ever met. She spent a great portion of her life traveling with a circus, as she and her family were prizes for one of the games on the midway. To this day, she is still agitated by the sound of balloons popping. Since coming to The S.A.R.F., she has been diagnosed with PTSD stemming from her traumatic separation from family members. Therapy has been quite successful, and we feel she is ready to move on to a new home.

Gender: Male
Hometown: Alpharetta, Georgia
Temperament: Non-confrontational
Health Condition: Could once crawl around on his own, but is somehow mechanically deficient at this time.
Special Needs: Wireless

Adept at C++, Objective C, Java. Learning Ruby. Current projects include a new iPhone app. that tracks development of other iPhone apps. May do some developing for The S.A.R.F. Their site sux.

Gender: Male
Hometown: Queens, New York
Temperament: Sales
Health Condition: Slightly hypertensive, high cholesterol
Special Needs: shops big & tall stores for ties

I received the Top Custom Stationary Salesman of the Year Award in 1994. I’m currently unemployed, but I can assure that I would be a valuable addition to your team. I have experience selling a variety of products and services, including used cars, frozen real estate [igloos], egg warmers, margarita mixers, and those pens with googly eyes and fuzzy tops that you spin around and make look like they have crazy hair. I would love the opportunity to contribute to your household, and I look forward to hearing from you.

Where Is He Now?

Carolyn & Frank Julio

Graduate of December 2008 petting zoo. Adopted in early 2009.

Frank Julio headed to Boston! He’s super excited about the snow. We hear there’s a lot of it.

Genders: Female
Hometown: Las Vegas, NV
Temperament: Sassy
Health Condition: Mint
Special Needs: They are triplets and must be adopted to the same family.

Hi Hi Hi. We’re Lorenzo’s Del Rio Lllamas. We’re Lorenzo’s Del Rio Lllamas. We’re Lorenzo’s Del Rio Lllamas. We aren’t sure why, but that’s what our last owner billed us as when we played Vegas. We aren’t sure why, but that’s what our last owner billed us as when we played Vegas. We aren’t sure why, but that’s what our last owner billed us as when we played Vegas. We’re triplets, and we play guitar and sing together. We’re triplets, and we play guitar and sing together. We’re triplets, and we play guitar and sing together. We love the Andrews Sisters! We love the Andrews Sisters! We love the Andrews Sisters! And we like boys a lot! And we like boys a lot! And we like boys a lot! The S.A.R.F. promised they wouldn’t split us up, so if you want to adopt us, you have to take all three! The S.A.R.F. promised they wouldn’t split us up, so if you want to adopt us, you have to take all three! The S.A.R.F. promised they wouldn’t split us up, so if you want to adopt us, you have to take all three!

Gender: Female
Hometown: Dayton, Ohio
Language: SASL (Stuffed Animal Sign Language)
Temperament: Calm, Sweet
Health Condition: Deaf, Elephant Paw
Special Needs: Needs to be facing people when they talk to her. Requires weekly paw massages.

My name is Dottie, and I’m the most loyal and loveable stuffed animal you will ever meet. I am deaf, but it doesn’t bother me one bit. I can read lips AND I know SASL [Stuffed Animal Sign Language]. I also suffer from a condition called ‘Elephant Paws’, which is rare in stuffed dogs but is really common in stuffed elephants. The condition basically makes my legs kind of shaped like bellbottom pants! I was born this way, and my last owner thought it was cute… before she abandoned me.

Where Is She Now?

Dottie and Rob, her new owner

Graduate of December 2008 petting zoo. Adopted in early 2009.

Dottie was our first successful adoption, completed in January of 2009.

Gender: Male
Hometown: Washington State
Temperament: Careful
Health Condition: Bug Eye
Vision: +11.0 (in daylight), +8.0 (night vision)
Special Needs: food (particularly bugs), sunglasses

Hello. I’m Vincent. Before I say anything else, I have to tell you that I have a condition called Bug Eye. Basically, I am allergic to insects (and arachnids). Eating them in large quantities like I do has resulted in my having enlarged eyeballs with non-contracting pupils. My eyes are really sensitive to sunlight, and I’m quite farsighted. The doctors say my eyes will not get any larger, but they’re not going to get any smaller either. I bet you’re asking yourself, “So why doesn’t Vincent just stop eating the bugs?” Well, it’s kind of a catch 22, really. Bugs give me Bug Eye, but my digestive system isn’t actually equipped to process anything else. I have tried bug substitute products, but I’m really not a fan of processed foods, and honestly, they’re just way too expensive. I also have to maintain a wheat-free and dairy-free diet, which is actually pretty easy to do since my species instinctually really only eats bugs. But still, I thought I’d mention it just in case. I’m not like one of those people who will drop dead if a peanut touches them or anything. I have more of a sensitivity. Anyway, I guess I’m kind of a stuffed couch potato. I really just like to sit around and watch TV (precariously placed at least fifteen feet away). I especially like Heroes and The Wire- but I think everybody loves The Wire, right? McNulty is the coolest!

Graduate of SXSW Interactive 2009 petting zoo. Adopted in 2009.

Gender: Female
Hometown: Planet Earth
Temperament: Peaceful
Health Condition: Recurring blockage of orange chakra
Special Needs: Sacred Geometry set, rock tumbler, must sleep facing door but not in line with door

Greetings, friend. I am Janus. I know the future and the past, and I have many faces. I have the gift of the healer and the vision of the ages. I will guide you as you connect to your divinity within. I will clear and reset your bad energies to ensure you are operating at the highest vibration possible. I am a master of Color Breathing Therapy, which can be of much use to you. Do not let my blubberous exterior fool you. I am but a feather floating upon the mystic seas. May the peace of the ages bring you great joy and wisdom.

Graduate of SXSW Interactive 2009 petting zoo. Adopted in 2009.

Gender: Female
Hometown: Lawrenceville, GA
Specialty: Community Organizing
Temperament: Calm
Special Needs: Laptop

I know grad school’s gonna be tough, but The SARF is really helping out. They’ve been letting me tutor Arnold in reading in exchange for room and board. I’ve been studying so much that I haven’t had time to feed myself. Once I get my doctorate, I plan to give back to the lizard community, and to The SARF. But for now, I just hope I find nice family to adopt me- one who understands how cranky a grad student can be. I promise to be a good snuggler when I’m not busy doing research.

Gender: Male
Hometown: Undisclosed
Temperament: Reserved
Special Needs: Transportation to weekly support group

I’m Goldie. My mother was a stuffed flounder. My father was a stuffed supernova. As you can probably guess, growing up in a bi-sentient family was pretty confusing. The neighbor kids were always asking me questions like, ‘Hey, Goldie, are you conscious or non-conscious?’ or, “Do you breathe through gills, or do you emit all of the gases you need for survival?” You know how cruel kids can be. I suffered from low self esteem for most of my life, but I’m finally on the right track. It was a long, hard road, but I have chosen to self-identify as a ‘Stuffed Entity Representative of Various Organic Materials’.

Gender: Male
Hometown: Hattiesburg
Temperament: Charismatic
Health Condition: Clean
Special Needs: Transportation on Sunday morning, Sunday night, Wednesday night

The kind folks at The S.A.R.F. have decided to include me in their list of available SA’s despite the fact that I am not worthy. And I, the owner of a noble yet stuffed and lonely heart, cannot let them down. For they, like myself, are pilgrims. And pilgrims know- they surely know- that they have a home, my brothers and sisters. Search though we may, we fail to see that our homes are right in front of us. Right around us. Inside our very hearts and in the hearts and homes of our neighbors. I ask you now, as you sit or stand, as you’re hungry or recently fed, as you are a duck or an elephant or a creature of the sea, as you are living or stuffed… I ask you now: do you have it inside of your beating or stuffed chest to reach your hand out and to take my wing under your own symbolic wing? To give me shelter from the rain that could cause me to become moldy? To give me a fountain from which you may pretend I am drinking? To give me food that I do not have to eat? To give me clothing that stuffed ducks do not need but nonetheless would be quite cute? To take me on walks during which you must carry me because I cannot move on my own? Do you have it in your heart to be a true neighbor to a stuffed duck in need? Because if you do, my friends, you will be rewarded one-fold. With me. Yellow Francis.

Gender: ?
Hometown: ?
Temperament: ?
Health Condition: Frozen
Special Needs: ?

We discovered this stuffed triceratops still encased in the block of ice where he has been preserved, intact, for an as yet undetermined number of millennia. We carefully removed him from the larger ice chunk, and, after consulting with prehistoric stuffed animal experts, we have decided it is safest for all involved to allow him to thaw naturally. We estimate that he will be completely thawed by the end of January, 2010, at which time we hope he will be able to answer many questions regarding the stuffed animals of the distant past.

Gender: Male and Female
Hometown: Paris

Claudette and I enjoy all manner of activities, from romantic nights at the opera to dining at the finest French restaurants. Claudette has a soft spot for handspun cotton candy and diamond collars, and perhaps these slight weaknesses have somehow contributed to our current financial difficulties. However, we were both raised in fine homes, and our previous owners thought teaching stuffed dogs to beg was gauche. We are not accustomed to needing ‘help’, and I have not, in fact, made Claudette aware of the seriousness of our financial problems. I’d rather keep this matter private. Claudette is very much a lady and has a quite fragile constitution.

Gender: Male
Hometown: Melbourne, FL
Specialty: Statistics
Temperament: Anxious, sometimes poisonous
Special Needs: iPhone or iPad w/ MLB.com App

CAUTION!!! Use gloves when handling Sirius!!*
Hello there. I’m a puffer fish. I don’t mean to be poisonous to the touch, but I’m just really emotional. See, I love the Florida Marlins. Ever since the expansion, I’ve been, well, a little obsessed. And for some reason, I emit toxins when they lose. I mean, it’s not deadly or anything, but some people do get pretty bad rashes. Anyway, I hope they win tonight, because I’d like to snuggle without using a protective barrier. I promise I’m a really good cuddler, and I’m working on my problem.