|Occupation||Chief Corporate Strategist, The SARF, LLC|
|Application Deadline: UNKNOWN (SA-NAPPED!!)|
|Custody Announcement Date: UNKNOWN (SA-NAPPED!!)|
When I joined The SARF team back in October, the organization was a shambles. It was hemorrhaging stuffing all over the place. Don’t get me wrong: Wendy's great at repairing and rehabilitating SA's, and she writes a fascinating story*, but she isn't what you'd call a Business Woman. Creative types rarely are! That's why the SAs went above her head and hired me to take over the business side of The SARF, LLC!
My qualifications include:
• Dollar signs printed on fur
• Presence of both horns and udders, giving me unique perspective on trends
• Cloven-yet-pliable hooves
• Certified in LEAN, Kaizen, Six Sigma, Basic Knife Skills, Human and SA CPR
• I am a stuffed symbol of the stock market, but with additional pretend milk-producing capabilities (the cost of milk being an important economic bellwether)
• Lean In, The Goal, E-Myth, and The Innovator’s Dilemma are just a few of the books I’ve listed here
My goals are to streamline The SARF, LLC’s processes, to implement revenue-generating programs (while maintaining free adoptions, per Wendy’s insistence), and to create a clear 5-year plan focusing on organizational growth and expansion into foreign markets.
You may have already noticed some of my monetization plans in action. I played a key role in the recent opening of The SARF Spa, and I expanded the organization’s merchandizing selection to include Stuffed Animal Bandages, bumper stickers, and Stuffed Animal First Aid Kits™. All are currently available on THESARF.ORG!
* and she makes an awesome website, and you can hire her for either, and she’s also insanely cute and surprisingly single and has obviously been watching way too much ’30 Rock’ recently
As you may know, we had an SA-napping during our 37TH Street Stuffed Animal Petting Zoo in Austin, TX a few weeks ago. We need your help!
Please print this flyer and color it... then put it on a telephone pole or bulletin board in your neighborhood!