Graduate of December 2009 petting zoo. Adopted in early 2010.

Did you know that Rudolph’s red nose is coal-powered? Well, it is. And it’s time everyone realized the massive size of Santa’s carbon footprint. I, on the other hand, have a solar-powered nose. In fact, at night, I hook my nose to a special device that allows me to give excess energy back to the grid. I’m working with The SARF to reduce the organization’s energy usage by 50% by 2012. I would love to find an eco-friendly family to adopt me. I promise to conduct a full efficiency inspection upon arrival- free of charge.

When I was a baby elephant, my father made me perform in the Stuffed Animal Circus… Each night, I would be placed on the stage while adoring fans watched me sit there doing what stuffed elephants do best… Stare at stuffed peanuts… Get picked up and moved around… People say I was the best at what I did. But now, I have my own little boy elephant, and I have chosen to hide his identity until he is old enough to make his own choices. I know some people think this is ‘inhumane’, but I assure you: His baby elephant-hood is one of the happiest there’s ever been. We hope to be adopted by a family who respects our wishes for privacy… and who likes to snuggle.

Graduate of December 2009 petting zoo. Adopted in early 2010.

Hi. My friends call me Sandy, and I am a dancer. Ballet, tap, jazz, lyrical, hip-hop, western swing, modern, merengue, tango, salsa… I do it all and I love it all. Without dance, I would be just another boring three and a half foot long fire engine red chenille komodo dragon with sparkly hands and feet and a sparkly stripe down my back. But I feel special because of my dreams. I am currently putting together my audition for SYTYCD, and I think I have a good shot. I’m not as classically trained as some, but I have heart and my own personal style. I’ve also been told I have a very unique look and graceful, sophisticated lines. I love to perform, but sometimes I’m just as happy perfecting my moves in front of the mirror alone. Self-expression sets me free. I love to take car rides and hold my hand out the window and feel the breeze running through my sparkly fingers. It makes me feel alive.

Where Is He Now?

Sandy’s new owner, Samantha, sent us an update, and it looks like he’s adjusting to dorm life quite nicely!

Samantha’s been helping him practice his dance moves, and we can’t wait to see his improvements firsthand (send us a video)!

When Sandy’s not busy dancing, he’s been watching a lot of Grey’s Anatomy and hanging out with his new friend, Senor Sparkles (Austin College marketing major/large pink unicorn). Their relationship status is unclear at this time.

Congratulations on your new life, Sandy!

Yes, I’m a squirrel. And yes, I’m a chef. So? I mean, what’s wrong with that? I have access to a virtually infinite array of foods from gardens all over town. And acorn soup? Have you ever tried it? Don’t knock it until you do. I make a mean Garden-Pillaged-Basil Pesto, but Salvaged Carved Pumpkin Pie is my specialty. I hope to make to Top Chef in the next few years. The SARF is helping me out by letting me cook four meals a week. It’s been a great experience learning to cook for such a wide range of non-eating stuffed animals. It makes things tough, but I like a challenge. I hope to one day open my own restaurant: SQUIRR.

Where Is He Now?

Graduate of December 2009 petting zoo. Adopted in early 2010.

We received an update from Esquirr’s new family, and it looks like he’s having a wonderful time! He’s been spending a lot of his evenings in the kitchen helping out with dinner and testing out recipes on his owners, Brad and Lora. We hear he makes a mean white chili. We miss you, Esquirr, but we’re thrilled that you’re getting a chance to follow your dreams!

Graduate of December 2009 petting zoo. Adopted in early 2010.

I was living on my own by the time I was your age, missy- or mister- or whatever you are. My eyes aren’t what they used to be. My teeth aren’t so good either. I put my dentures down a few months ago, and I haven’t seen them since. I don’t care. I didn’t need them anyway. My gums are tough as nails. My parents used to feed me rocks. For my birthday.

Graduate of December 2009 petting zoo. Adopted in early 2010.

We had to write this bio for Bertha, as she has chosen to communicate only through SASL (Stuffed Animal Sign Language). She learned SASL, along with five different spoken languages, at a stuffed monkey research facility outside of Atlanta. She is an avid reader, with a particular penchant for Pynchon, Gaddis and Delillo.

Graduate of December 2009 petting zoo. Adopted in early 2010.

I am Arnold, and I am big. I was rescued a few months ago. I am cuddly and have a wound. I like you. Snuggling is nice. I eat leaves and stuffed bananas. I lost my eye somehow, but I don’t mind. I walk into branches sometimes. The other people tagged me for research, but I don’t know what that means. This tree is nice. I like my friends.

Graduate of December 2009 petting zoo. Adopted in early 2010.

My rheumatism has been much better since The SARF rescued me from that horrible home. It was so drafty. Made my hip hurt. And my cataracts, too. I feel better than I have in years. Except for the ringing in my ears. And my pesky trick knee. But I’m pretty lucky to have a knee at my age. It’s hard to locate, but it’s there somewhere. And it sure is tricky. But not so much as my trick elbow. Now that’s doosie right there.