Despite his gray fur, Gary is quite a young SA. We believe he may have had a traumatic experience before arrive at The SARF Headquarters, as he was definitely a bit skittish, and it is very uncommon for stuffed monkeys of his species to be prematurely gray. He has yet to communicate with us, so we are leaving it up to his new owner to further coax him out of his metaphorical shell.

Bonjour. Mon nom est Jean-Luc. Je suis âgé de 24 ans. Je suis un créateur de mode animal en peluche. Je étudie le français parce que je aimerais passer à Paris et devenir l’un des plus grands designers du monde jamais. Je aimerais trouver une nouvelle maison avec une fashionista comme moi, en particulier celui qui aime le shopping de chaussures et regarder Planet Runway.

Just because I was born with a red rose in my mouth doesn’t mean I’m spoiled for other types of flowers! I’ve been gardening since I was a little kitten. You might say I have a green paw, despite its actual brown and white coloring. I am director of operations at a local greenhouse. I’d love to find a human companion who shares my interests in watering, weeding, repotting, and harvesting. A home with a nice sunny plot of land would be delightful!

Note: We performed major surgery to remove the rose attached to Sylvia’s mouth. She has fully recovered, and she is enjoying her newfound mouth-decoration-free lifestyle.

I’m an aerialist!

What up? I bet you’re thinking you want to adopt me, right? Well, I’m not just gonna go live with any old human. You see: I have my standards. I’m looking for a knockout with a good head on her shoulders. You should take care of your mind and your body. I’m not into sitting around watching Netflix every night. I love good food, exotic travel, and occasional live music, and you should, too.

I’m a bit of an insomniac. Now, it’s true: SAs don’t technically need to sleep, but most of them chose to. What else are you going to do all night in the dark while your living companions are snoring away? Well, I can tell you: You stare at the ceiling. You try to guess the time by listening to the frequency of the car that go by. Now that most living companions use cell phones for alarm clocks, I usually have no idea what time it is! I do get a lot of thinking done, though. Lots of planning. I’d love a companion who was a night owl like me. I mean that figuratively, of course, since I’m a penguin, not an owl. As for my companion, a human would be perfect. Just one that stays up late.

I’m Victoria. I’d love to find a new home where I can help out around the house. I like to make myself useful! I don’t do dishes (because I’m porous), but I’m an excellent Roomba operator! I’m also a pro at pretend-ironing, blending in with upholstery, keeping your unfolded laundry company, and sitting on top of piles of receipts!

I was born with a condition called Stiff Carnival Prize Syndrome. I am scheduled to undergo surgery at The SARF Spa™ on December 20th. Through a series of safe-yet-invasive stuffing transfusions, they will replace my hardened stuffing with new, more huggable material. I have been dreaming of this since I was made, and I’m so grateful for the opportunity to receive this groundbreaking treatment! By the time I meet my new adoptive family, I’ll be the squeezable SA I’ve always dreamed of being!

Hello! I’m an artist. I have a BFA in drawing and painting from a reputable but comparatively unimpressive state school! I particularly enjoy painting still life arrangements and live drawing from stuffed animal models. SAs have so much more stamina than human models, and they’re quite open to nude modeling, given that most of them don’t wear clothes to begin with. During my time at The SARF, I’ve had a lot of the residents pose for me, and I’ve even taught a few [stuffed] life drawing classes! Being able to draw such a wide variety of species and body types over the past few months has helped me grow SO much as an artist!