I am the most qualified stuffy out there. If you take me home with you, I will work hard to make you amused and happy. I am an experienced snuggler with a proven record of fighting for the comfort of my living companions. It would be a duty and an honor to serve as your stuffed friend.

According to my tag, I am originally from Kennesaw, GA; however, I don’t remember ever being there. I somehow ended up in Austin, TX, and I’ve been a resident at The SARF for several years. Being a stuffed grizzly bear with rather thick fur, I have always felt a bit out of place in the south. I am interested in exploring a colder climate, perhaps with frequent snowfall! I won’t be much help with the shoveling, since I can’t move on my own, but I am quite a cozy snuggler and can help warm you after you finish! I am not sure what I’d like to do with my stuffed life, so I am interested in exploring all available options. I am a knowledge sponge- perhaps due in part to my soft, spongy fur! I am excited to find a living companion who is also curious about all the world has to offer.

James is a rare stuffed animal whose stuffed form functions quite similarly to his living counterpart. If tossed, James can glide through the air in a manner not dissimilar to that of a living flying squirrel! He enjoys this thoroughly, as long as the tosser is careful to avoid lamps, campfires, glasses of liquid, and open windows leading to highways or busy streets. James also enjoys calmer activities like tea parties with friends, where he often pretends to crack open pistachios with pretend teeth!

Vinnie has been struggling with body issues his whole stuffed life, even before he realized he was stuffed. Though he now better understands that he is not responsible for the volume and shape of his stuffing, he still describes himself as ‘blubbery’ or ‘chubby.’ We often remind him that he does not and cannot eat, and thus can neither increase nor decrease his mass- but Vinnie often forgets this and blames himself for his size (which is actually quite enviable in the SA world). Vinnie would benefit from a living companion who will offer him unconditional love and moral support on his journey toward self-acceptance.

Living giraffes, like their stuffed counterparts, do not have vocal chords! Because of this shared characteristic, Sasha was better able to fully assimilate into the living giraffe population than many other SAs at Greater Pine Bluff. Sasha, like her living counterparts, relies more heavily on body language, social hierarchies, and intuition for communication. She and her son, Jermaine, have taken a vow of silence, in solidarity with the live giraffe community. They prefer not to pretend to talk, and they would like to find a human companion who respects these wishes.

Rachel has had great success in her journey toward stuffed self-acceptance. Although she is still more comfortable pretending she needs to be caged, she has also grown fond of receiving occasional enthusiastic hugs and has even taken to having Sunday afternoon tea parties with her friend James. She is looking forward to meeting a suitable living companion who enjoys brewing pretend tea, making invisible cookies, and grooming her mane.

Leann cannot bite or move, but she does not fully understand this. Please do not pet Leann near her mouth area. This causes her existential distress and confusion. She is still processing the weight of her newly-understood domestication. With the help of our therapists and contract philosophy professors, she is slowing coming to terms with her new live as an SA. Although she does not need to be caged, she is experimenting with pretending that she does. We have decided to encourage this role-playing, since ‘pretending’ is an important stuffed animal skill.

Colby and Janelle have been model residents at The SARF despite their very rocky beginning. Janelle at first refused to be in the same room with Colby! Having witnesses her fair share of leopard encounters with living members of her species, she was rightfully frightened and skeptical. But after a year in our Stuffed Predator/Stuffed Prey Group Therapy Program, the two have overcome their live-analogue stereotypes to become the best of friends. They each look forward to finding their own suitable living companions, but they definitely would like to keep in touch after they are adopted.

Although Angelo and Devon are unrelated, they are still joined at the hip… literally. We offered them the option of a surgical solution, but they decided that they enjoy sharing their experiences with each other. Life has greatly improved for them since leaving the Greater Pine Bluff Wildlife Refuge, where their tandem-ness was seen as an unnatural anomaly- particularly since they lack both a familial relation and a logical explanation for how this physical predicament came to pass. Angelo and Devon were thrilled to find out that physical attachment of two stuffed animals is quite common in the SA world, and they now hope to find a home with a living companion who will welcome them as a pair.

Due to a dietary protein deficiency, the average living koala sleeps around 20 hours per day. This same pattern also holds true for stuffed koalas- although SA koalas’ nutritional deficiencies and resulting penchant for napping are even more extreme than their living friends.

Stuffed koalas actually spend 24 hours a day in an immobile state, probably owing to the fact that 100% of their zero daily calories come from non-protein sources.

This may sound extreme, but these nutritional deficits are quite common in SAs.
Because of their general lethargy, Jacques and Deanna fit in quite well their living counterparts at the refuge. In fact, the live koalas didn’t seem to detect any differences at all between themselves and their stuffed guests.