It’s always been a bit of struggle for me, being a male ladybug and all. People just kind of assume I’m a… lady. But that’s not how it works. In fact, if all ladybugs were ladies, how would new ladybugs get made? Yes, I know those things work differently for stuffed animals, but identity is complicated. That said, I’m just your average stuffed coccinellidae (that’s my technical name- and since I’m getting technical, I’m actually a beetle, not a bug). I like randomly being found on your arm, and being discovered on a table in your bedroom and getting picked up carefully and transported outside. Regular ladybug stuff. I’m looking forward to finding a new living companion who is open-minded and sensitive to the fact that I’m just a regular dude.

Are YOU my new living companion? Perhaps so… Perhaps so. I AM quite particular, mind you.
Do my eyes draw you in? What do you see there? The wisdom of the ages? The knowledge of the universe and all universes beyond? A flashing glimpse of the original primordial truth?
If so, that is a start, my friend. A good start.
But look deeper. Much deeper.*

*Although we have no scientific or anecdotal evidence of specific powers, hypnotic or otherwise, we caution you against staring too deeply into Fernando The Elder’s eyes. If you choose to do so, The SARF is not responsible for any alterations to your psyche, positive or negative. Generally speaking, we are personally slightly afraid of looking too deeply into Fernando The Elder’s eyes, as we are scared of what we might find there.

I’m mostly just an average bear. I enjoy most things kids and stuffed bears like, and I’d like to find a fun living companion who likes those things, too. Some of my favorite things to do are building things with legos, drawing squiggly shapes and coloring them with crayons, and playing games. I think maybe one day I’d like to be an engineer of some sort- but I’m not completely sure what engineers do, and I’ve got a lot of time to figure out that stuff. I also like computers, and sometimes I just like to hang around with my friends and make up silly stories.

NEW HOME:
Bolton, Greater Manchester
United Kindgom

When I first decided I wanted to be a surgeon, a lot of folks told me it would be impossible. They said I couldn’t do it because I’m stuffed and because I’m inanimate. All of my advisors kept pushing me toward general family practice. “How can you perform surgery with those tiny immovable flippers?” they would ask. But I didn’t listen. I knew what I was meant to be. And now here I am, the most respected stuffed otter surgeon in the world. Advances in robotic automation have made it possible for me to perform the most intricate procedures with the most subtle of movements, and I am not only a practicing surgeon, but I am also a cutting-edge innovator and thought-leader in my field.

Though I appear to be slow-moving (entirely inanimate, actually), my inner dialogue is swift and shifting like my imaginary birthplace: the sea. Do not let my lack of movement distract you. I am vast. I am a lover of life, a seeker of truth, an advocate for all beings, be they stuffed, live, furred or scaled or having of skin. My heart (though merely metaphorical, as I have no blood and thus no need for its glorious power) beats with the wonder of all nature, unfettered by the bonds of time and place. I am in search of a free-spirited living companion who shares my send of wonder and wishes to explore this unfathomable world.

I believe that all stuffed animals should be entitled to a good, sound liberal arts eduction- regardless of stuffed species or identified gender, self-assigned or otherwise. Though I am still a young wolf (and will remain so for the entire foreseeable future) on the outside, I see myself as a bit of an old soul. And as such, I require a bit of independence. Don’t get me wrong: I thoroughly enjoy the company of a living companion. In fact, I desperately long for one. But that doesn’t mean I want to spend ALL of my time with my companion. I need a bit of space- my own space- in order to read and to write and to develop my inner life. I hope to form a lasting bond with a living companion who has a similar philosophy of life and has compatible needs for occasional introversion and downtime.