Bertha, Arnold and I were rescued from a secret stuffed monkey research center outside of Atlanta. There, we were taught to read, to write, and to speak several different languages (well, actually Arnold never really caught on…). Unfortunately, many tests were also conducted upon us against our wills… Various forms of cotton were injected into our bodies to determine ‘optimal plushness’… We were given different eyes in order to test for ‘adequate cuteness.’ And so on. It was rather demeaning, really, and we’re still adjusting to freedom. The SARF has been providing us with regular therapy sessions, and I believe I am ready to join a loving adopted family.