I’m a real estate guy, pure and simple. I’ve done it for a decade, and I know a good deal when I see it. That’s why I flew in from California 3 months ago. The market here is unbelievable. The culture, however, takes a little getting used to. I mean, have you seen how those bats downtown live? All together like that under that one bridge? It’s like a commune over there! Get off of your parents’ health insurance, for god’s sake!

So anyway, I’ve been in negotiations to purchase my own bridge over in the hill country. Close enough to town, but with less feeding competition, better schools, and really clear sonar reception. It’s a steal. My friends back in L.A. aren’t gonna believe it. I’m hoping to close before spring migration.