Gender: Male
Hometown: New Haven
Profession: Currently unemployed
Temperament: Concerned, and rightly so
Special Needs: Dust masks, organic cotton, fur-safe paw sanitizer, your pin number

Thankfully, the management of The SARF is careful to bathe all residents, making sure they are sanitized and germ-free. Unfortunately, the rest of the world isn’t so conscientious. That’s why I’m extra careful.

I make all of my purchases with debit cards, because money is packed full of germs. And I make a point of having other people turn on lights for me, because light switches are some of the dirtiest places in the home. I also only eat organic stuffing and make sure that the doctor only uses 100% natural unbleached cotton thread.