The SARF Creative Writing Class I
The bear looked at me and said, “How are your preparations going?”
“I’m not quite sure what you mean?” I replied.
I was confused. He was a stranger and couldn’t have possibly known that Muffy and I were in the thick of planning our beach destination wedding, and that my Muffy, dear as she is, had been rather stressed. Nor could he have known that this was putting the first (and heretofore only) bit of strain on our then still-new whirlwind love affair.
“Hibernation,” the bear replied. “Is your den ready? I just finished up a new room for my cubs, and seeing as how it’s already getting cool in the mornings, I’d say I finished just in time!”
“Oh! Hibernation!” I said. “Well, you see, monkeys don’t actually hibernate,” I told him.
“Of course they don’t!” the said, indignantly. “But what does that have to do with the gosh-darn price of honey in San Antonio?”
“You do realize that’s what I am, don’t you? I’m a monkey…”
“Ridiculous!” the bear said. “You’re no more a monkey than I am!
The bear turned around and stuck out his rump, revealing a small, round, stump of a tail.
“Come on,” he said. “Show me! Yours is even smaller than mine is, I’ll bet. Let’s see that tail, little bear,” he chided.
“Listen,” I told him. “I am a monkey through-and-through, and there’s nothing you or I or anyone else could do to change that! Tail or no tail, trees or no trees, it’s just who I am, Mr. Bear. Now you move along and get ready for your hibernation! I’ve got a wedding to plan!”
“Well, excuse me!!” said the bear indignantly, though I could tell he was impressed by my confidence. “Suit yourself.”
And with that, I went home to Muffy to calm her nerves and to discuss the remaining details of our upcoming nuptials. She was very glad to welcome her favorite monkey home.
